Blargh

Got it. Unfortunately, still have 1x20mg adderall in me. maybe tomorrow, maybe a mixer, idk.

Randomimzed
We never see our outcome
(The ground is such bliss)
Our eyes may rot
(Spirit fleeing)
No choice but fate
(Never expected it)
Let's eat the future

Downward, towards an endless sea

the waves ripple on amongst a broken shore
for none have seen what once before
empty dreams
and broken things
scattering... a memory.
of times past
among the old
let's go on,
keep tight and hold.

12:52 9/12

Nothing. Angsty sorta.

5:36 AM 9/12

Nothing. No more. Yucky mouth taste. Sorta like copper mixed with water.

9:42, 9/11.

Recap: Boring school. slept in 5 of 8 classes. think it's a record. proceeded home where I sat and did little. Watched fight club and had that re-enlightenment-philosophical-turnover I always get from good movies or books.

"Marla's philosophy is that she could die at any moment. The tragedy was that she didn't."

Exactly.

So, in exchange, that is part of my new (though I believe it was recurring at some point in time as well) ideal. I can die at any moment, the odds are I won't, and therefore I should live it up.

Afterwards, about 1.5 hours total of housework. Then chilling around.

Currently, I took 4x40mg Strattera. No idea what'll happen.

Reminder: donate to erowid. 25$ due to lack of cool tshirts. consider mug or book, if worth it.

9:46 PM.

Poetry

is a marvelous thing.

Today, I share a poem by my older sister, Krystal.

---

~Looking In

You look in at me and see
 the girl,
Who lives inside the
 golden world,
But don't believe
Thats all there is to see,
You'll never know thee
 real me.

She smiles through a
 thousand tears.
And harbors adolescent
 fears.
She dreams of all that she
 can never be.
She wades in insecurity
and hides herself inside
 of me.

Don't say she takes it all
 for granted.
I'm well aware of all
 I have.
Don't think that I am
 disenchanted
Please understand,

It seems as though I've 
 always been
Somebody outside looking
 in
Well here I am for all
 of them to bleed.

But they can't take
 my heart from me
And the can't bring
 me to my knees
They'll never know the real me.

---

It's so sad and good. My sister is the best though.
Krystal, thanks for understanding without ever knowing.

Ugh...

Second day of trials. It's going well. Kinda wish I'd do it more.



But on the other hand, Moe went bitchtastic on me. go her.

Love ya sisi <3333

Ugh...

Second day of trials. It's going well. Kinda wish I'd do it more.



But on the other hand, Moe went bitchtastic on me. go her.

Love ya sisi <3333