today

today...sucked. I sat around mostly.
I got self concious in the shower after seeing how big my thighs and stomach are getting. Might go on a diet. Or exercise more. or both.

aside from that, I don't give a shit.

New Dream

New dream this time. It involves sega! and face sucking (not for me though).

walking somewhere. I'm on a sidewalk. I turn to my left. Liz and her lovely Luke are making out. I continue on, enter my house, go into the kitchen. Find a box of cereal called kellogg's duper diet delux. Turn it over. 0 calories, fat, carbs, etc. then, at the bottom, it had the sega logo. end.

If dreams are meant to represent something, then fuck, I should drop acid.

Mod'd my computer. Got a new strobe light, some manga.
FLCL just gets more fucked up. like. whoa.

Usefulness of the useless

Yeah. I went to microcenter recently. Picked up a USB HDD kit, and a new VGA cooler. And right now, at around 3 AM, I figured out how to connect it into my system. Right after I had frantically split wires on my original heatsink and had to cheaply replace them.

Sidenote 2: Fair ruled. I got the Blend #27, and it ruled.

Sidenote 3: I started a book that talks about S.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally ENds). It sucks. It's written in the later 1990's, so the whole darkwave/goth thing hadn't hit yet. It's all "grunge" then. I'll just say I read it.

Sidenote 4: My parents want me to go back to Chuck, that bible toting fucktard again.

Sidenote 5: This post powered by modified Mandrake linux 10.0! (kernel 2.6.3-7)

Oh, and I just saw an awesome quote I couldn't help but to post.


"I promise upon my heart,
never again shall I cry.
For I'll slit my wrists
and hope to die"

Sorta sick I guess. Whatever. I might've already posted it, but I forget.

Fair day at the Fair

I enjoy my pun. Lol.

Today was fine. Got a #27. Can't wait to try it. Also got Opium incense. $3 for 100. Awesome. And last, I'm elft with a sore pain in my neck. And lotsa green tea bottles and mint mocha frappucccino bottles. Good stuff.
but best of all....
EMO HAIR!

Yata

lala

Nyah

The days are blending together. I won't stop, and until I get it, I don't know what will happen.

New

I made a new "tatoo". It's fun.
And I'm done with the self-mutilation business. I disposed of my stuff.
Time to go visidark.

FUCK!

FUCK!
Suicide is not an option. The choice is gray, but the one above it still seems pretty.
Let the best man bleed.

Drugee

To al lthe people who actually read this:
Do you think I'm a drugee? Comment it please. Thanks.
See, I've been using some shit for a while now. I think it's ok, I think.

Weekend

The Weekend. WAs Ok.
I guess...
I went to siera's party. I was the only guy there. It was awkward at first, and they poked fun at me, but by the end it was all good.
Today I worked, and it sucked. Seriously. I'm gonna quit nad wokr at taco bell. It'd be less apy, more hours, and more fun.
Also, I've started taking painkillers at night so I don't dream anymore. It's bteter this way.

Dream 2

Ok, this next ne doesn't make sense either. All I know is, I need to stp touching the painkillers. or use them more often!

----dream-----
me, standing there
I have a shotgun
I run around behind a counter shooting and killing 4 people.
----end-----
freaky, huh?
Kids: do us a phavor: drop acid. make teh illogik teh logik.

Dreams.

jsut had the most fucked up dream.
----------what I remember--------------
walking through some mall (lots of strobe lights and such everywhere).
walk by a section of it that's being remodeled
turn left at the end of the hallway.
Go into "Stugnams" store
walk around. Suddenly have friends with me (mmy best pal,some old monk, and some random chick supposed to ressemble osmeone else I know)
they buy paint supplies, I Just follow.
when we get to the cashier, the monk tells me that direction is not straightforward or mathmatical, but merely a pathway to an object of lust or want.
he asks me for the direction towhere we found a certain thing in our painting stuff. I point a direction, and say 30 meters, that way. I run over, and I'm right. But not to him.
Liz kicks me for being a dumbass.
I wonder off from the group and find the deli. Except it's nothing special. a fat guy standing thre, with a cleaver.
I mention the cleaver, and he wipes it off (perfectly, of course) and gives it to me.
I attach the cleaver to a stick, but it wont stay on, so I take the blade and fling it, killing the monk.
Luke magically appears, and I bitch about liz and the monk to him. (we're now in front of a barn on a dirt road)
Luke dissappears and I walk into the barn. alluva sudden I get "absorbed" through the wall into a pit. Some god-loving christ freak is there, and he tries to escape. Something named Jark kills him.
When I try to escape, jark's eyes appear n every hole, crak, and open spacei n the walls, floor, and cieling. I tel him to look the other way. he turns offf a few of his eyes. I run for it. I'm outside the barn by a dune buggy.
I drive the dune buggy to school.
I walk in with a shotgun.
The people all have guns too.
I shoot first.they all shoot at me and miss.
I then drive in some crappy car around in the parkinglot, sliding a lot because it's overed in ice.
I hit a few people, then shoot one.
The end.


------------------------------

pretty weird, huh?

Update: Nada!

Well, not much to update on, quite frankly. I'm going to indiana for the 4th of july stuffs (yay). next week, I'm going to a friends party. And lastly, I got a pack (or possibly 2). go me.

Party + Pack(2) - 4th = Decent.

Oh, and my new shrink. This could be a long one.
He is an old christ freak.
I hate him. I hate his beliefs, looks, and fuck, even the way he treats me mentally. He's seriously trying to do the following:
1) find weakspot thru questioning
2) build on it
3) have it collapse
4) point out hetero-ness (breeder life)
5) build from there

Do the world a favor. Stop spreading lies. Spay or neuter the christians. Kill them. Burn their books. Please, stop the lies and build upon the fact that religion is the age old response to misunderstood science.

STOP

THE

FUCKING

LIES